Holidays
by GiselleAwesome
Summary: Snow White finds herself hosting a very interesting and quite dramatic series of holiday celebrations. She invites the whole family tree along for a journey of family love.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Thanksgiving is cuming up so I wanted to wish yall one and show off a new story that relates to it n is about a family *OUAT Ya!*

Once Upo a Time...ofc that'd the name of the show n all there was this fam fam last name was White cause the great granp poppy didn't have a lost name but there was a White in th e family. (Nonne of them are black) But all of them are dysfuntional especally the youngast of them all bc well...this family is fucke up.

Snow Whitey was the gram grams of the family on the left side of the family tree and she was invitationing all of them for the best thanksgiing ever so she did and said "Yall make sure you be hurr early enough to watch the Macy thanksfiving Parade. n her invitarions." Snow said said.

She has set the table up all pretty n puked at the thought that ashe invited her step mammy Regina the cold hearted old bitch that was hotter than her in ever way. The fairest bitch of all... But she was pretty happy her one nd only daughter & maybe son of Prince Chamrning (maybe bc she kinda lived with 7 other men to) and her daugher bring her grandbaby Henry babies make everythong so much happeir.

"Omg I am so expiped for the halloween dinner!" Prince Charning jumpee for joy and set up the table for her bc he was a househubby not a housewifey and he had been a stay at home mommy all his life until all that bs happen with Regina god damn cunt meanie head tryin to ruin lives but no she was not the worst n the family.

Next up they has Bellyfire, pretty much uselfess mary sue dude who sex with there daughter to have baby Henry and that's all he was good for but he has the worst family mambranes ever cause his daddy is RUmpekstilksin and his step dad is Bellie (he was named after her) his momma die lol thanks to his step daddy Hookie andn then his grampa was Peeter Pann wtf that just ain't right you diggin it?

"I am to but wtf Emma brungin that mofo into our family gdi!" she cussed at the thought of Belafires weird family RUmple all winkly and his dad's like a five star meal hanging with the sunshine stars.

But Charmin was charmander and was sweet as culd be that's why I want to marry him "Oh Snow we have to be exsepting of our son's true love bc what if she ate a apple pie and went into a coma we would need Neal to kiss her lups cause I mean we could do it but that's incest n we aren't in love with her." He expalned and Snow trided to regain her love hate for that bitch ass who seeing her daughter.

"Oh I kno I just jello" she admitted and then the front door burned down bc Regina walked in and had Henry on a cchild harness (Henry would run off and hang out with Emma cause he thinks shes his mom but Regina really is I think)

"The pickles butter be ready!" Regina holla unmuzzlng her anklebiting monster daughter.

"Harry!" Charming whisled in excitinment and it was officially a human reunion but not bc it was thanksgiving but every one else was late even more noticabl y that Emma and Neal were late.

"Omg I dont want no morreeffin grand kids" Snow whsilpered to Belly bc Harry was there "All Peter Pannie does is maniapuklate them n Henry is alrady on the dark side" Belle was all like ewhat bc girls are very gossipy "FUCKIN CALL THEM I DONT WAN THEM HAVIN SEX"

"SHSHSHSHS" Regina shushed them but she had brought Henry's earpugs (lol) and put them in his ears so they could cuss.

The Macy Thankgiving Day Parad was coming on tv and Snow was suddenly frustated "GDI everyone late!" She forke the table

Why was err one late? Maybe the family issues?

A/NOK so chappie one sucks but I am going to continue and make this a drama oh and flash backs...ofc ;) I was kinda rushie


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hm I see I get lots of goof reviews from batch of haters. Ok I been busy here is chap2! :) I took more time with it.

The scene skip over to Baellfie and Emma's super apt where they just movied in but kinda want more kids but they are criminals (they like 2 steal they are kletomaniacs)

Bellyfire was lying in the bed smoking some pots and Emma was like "omg come on my momma think we're screwin again if you don't hurries"

"Chillout Emma she just alll chastity bc Prince Charmin had that bad ass secret bout staying on that Neverland land island thannng" He all high n shit didn't remember that that's all done and over with except for his grampa was now his son because they did a wife swap.

"GET OUT OF THE FREAKIN BREAD" Emma was a cop and Nealfire knew better than to argue he could be arrestted. He put his pills away and put on his moon boots becaus it was snowing out and they are in style.

...

It was time for a flashback and it was all for backstory on RUmplelstiltsin and his daddy Peter Pam. Peter was layin in a hospie bed bc it was bout time for his lil daughter to come into the world he really didnt want to be the poppa to a boy bc he was a boy and so he personaalaly knew homuch he hated boys!

"omg brung me more chocies" Peter was having cravings and wanted sum more of that chocolate yum yum. He was staffing his mouth like a pig then got a little hurry "man can we hurry this up I gotta bbe at work n a hour" he told the doctor.

"Oh these thangs take time you just got here" said dr. whale he was listening to Eminem's newest album that song survival and didn't give two shits about some loser who's water just broke what is the world coming to?

"THE BABY HAS TO COME NOW OR I'M GOING TO WORK AND IT'S NOT EFFIN STAYIN IN THERE OK IT COMEs or STAYS ! " Peter was hysteracal and was going to be a grate parent Dr. Whale could see it just by lussening to what Pete just said. If he wasn't going to be a mom Dr Whale would so be digging that shit.

"Ok let me get my nursies"

In come the nurses and blood guts and gore was everwhare but the baby was OK but there was something that was not a miss and Peter got all blue "WHY IS IT A GIRL" He cryed and was askin the doctor if there was anything he could do to change its ginger. But it was too late and his baby wasn't a trannie anymore like fetuses be when they inside your body so he said "Ummmmmm I wish but no lol" And Peter was so deviestated and he didn't even have a boy name picked up.

"Ok I guess I call the fucking baby Rumply Silky Skin" He sinned the paper work with all the info and give his bby a babby bath but didn't take pictures because it was not the daughter he dreamed of.

End flashback

At Rumpelstillyskins house he was all emo bc of this almost forgotten mamory. "Omg why donuts my dad love me I gave him ever thing he ever wanted even the pandor'as box" He upstated his myspace blog and cried more. No one uses myspace no more so no 1 ever knew.

A/N Until next time my fangirls ;)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: OK got some reviews Oh m here is chap 3 Enjoy it like ya shouldaaa.

Once Apon a Time (lol the irony) the whole famil y finally got to the family thanksgivers dinner but it was relly awkward bc every one had seen Rumpeldumpel's facebook statis. "Dad why yall gotta be so emo" Neal broke the ice.

"STFU" Peter spooned at fork

This family drama was relly tearijng up the llama so CHarmin said "hnmmmmmmmmmmh I think we should talk all this out while the turkey cooks turkey." He said billiantly and 3/5 of them agerred. They sedicded to start with Emma bc she was the main carrot of the show and was pretty fuckin hot with her hanfluddss.

"Ok my issue with this family is Hennnnnn- Ahhhh the barn with the hens" She sucked at lying and was bout to admit her own flesh and bluud was her biggest mistake even tho she love that potbed Baelyfuire. She got to spun the botle to decide who was next the wine was err where.

The bottlet pointed at Regina and she was dishonest cuz she is the evil witch so yes i know you get my point? "OK my only issue is I want some fuckin turkey when arent we eating?" She was curtious and everyone goggled at the good old two face humor haha.

Next up was Rumpel who said "PASS" And everyone realised they could pass and skipped and this shit wasn't cool for the ones that had alreydy spooken up and it was all out war, Regina pulled out the missules.

"Whoawhoawhoa come on lets chill" Neal did what was right and reveeled the weed.

"OMFG THATS IT I AM ARRESTED YOU" Emma was fuckin pissed like a mexican bull that just seen spanish man weereing red.

Neal wasn't not hearing her so Baelfire give him a heads up "Omg Neal she's gonna cuff you and put you behind bars and we don't has anymore secrets to tell" Neal said to Bael.

"NOBODIE IS GOING TO FUCKING JAIL CALM DOWN" The elder Peter croaked at them all he was so old but so tweenie lookin it was kinda weird but they all knew he was the elder and wisest so they lessoned and sittie down. "We need to straighten this drama out b4 it gets out of hand n someone realises I am the antagonist"

"What?" Charming holla

"NOTHING JFC" Peter got all red bc he slipping up thanks to the alziemers lol he all creepy look at Henry's heart.

Suddenly the storybook of storybrooke opened and it reviewed a pix of the crew inside the fairytale world they looked relly happy even Peter who is never happy. Hook had one hand. "omg i understand" Regina fainted and got a vision of the futue. "We have to rerun to fiarytale land in order to be happy but Ariel cant come bc she was just a filler." "Well is everone in?" she ashed at them.

Baelly fire was all thumbs "I am fo the happienest!" He weeded. Everyone was pretty much for it except Peter so they handcuffed him again like they did in the show "come on dad your not getting any older lol" Rumple said bc his dad was a tweenie and it was so silly.

Regina put her hands on the book and zap she was in the book and waving at them "omg that's fuckin wicked" Belle said "Hell ya" Hook agrrred.

Soon everyone was popping there hands onto the book and zappin into the book and they all felt a rush of happnyness rush thru their bones except for Hook's missing hand they dont even know where it is so they giggled at his misfortunate.

"Wee it like were in a wormhole" Harry was a smart child bc he had Emma's brain cells and not his daddy potheads brain.

They did not no what awaited them in Sotry brook 2.0 fairyland

TO be continue


	4. Chapter 4

When the grope got to the farry tale world there were severed into two groups. Each of witch consistered of a imortnated character.

In the first groupe there was Emma she was looging round to see what the surroudning were and her lil boy Henry was hogging her leg bc he was scared. "OK it looks like a enhanced forest she told Hookie who was also there and had a hook for a hand now but still had his right hand so he cold take notes"

"Fuck I hate this place" Peter fuckin pissed off "Like why yall gotta brought me hurr I was good to hell n back in the Netherlands." "STFU PRISONERR" Regina whipp him.

"OK first thang is fiurst we need to fund someone that knew there way around here but none of us are the ppl bc we have been in story brook for the past 28 yrs waiting on emma to grow up lol." Emma said bc she was kinda missing her teddy bear muffin poo Bealfire and was lonely so she tried to kiss Hook but he was like helly no because he tried to "hook" up with her before but she played him like a piano went back to Neal. Girls are teases.

Bambi was eating sum weed that was stocking out of the ground and Peter immamdiatly recognise it. "Look gays it's Bambi maybe she can give us directions or you fags can free me so I can fly"

They were kinda shy so they thought bout letting him go but Regina was like "No don't do it man, Rumpley was the one to handgudd him and shuld be the one to free him. He is his papa ya know." she nerded.

"OK Rudolf it is" Henry walkie over to the deer and petted it's horns "Hi friendly fire forest animel we are lost can you plase lead us in the direction of the direction we need to go." He was so good with fairy tell critters that none of his parrots tried to stop him.

The deer dropp it's grass and was like "omg the heros, we been waiting on you to save narnia"

"Really?" Emma gaspped

"FUCK NO LOL" Bambi laughed and gallop off.

"Ok so maybe they arent so nice here afta all" Hook hooked out with his hook.

So they let Peter go he was there last pope. "Plz little tweenie kid go save us" Regina updated but that lil shit was older and wiser than he looked and immeduly abandored them. "WE ARE SO FUCKED" Regina cawwed.

...Manwhile in another part of the Enchambered Forest, Rumpelstillyskin was noting that he was not with his father, "Whare the fuck is my son?!" He seen the seperation anxiety.

"Dady it's OK we will be ruenited with him soon he's old enough to be on his own" Neal crated a father son bond with his dad right there in the middle of a strange enchangted florist.

"Rumpley dumpley it's OK we will see your mama again soon." Belle was smoochie on his ugly nasty hair & his krokodil skin. Neal felt like a third wheel but then he look at Snow and CHarmo and he feel like a fourth whale.

"FUCK I NEED EMMA Or some weed" He raged to himself but then this lil Elliephant come flying out of the sky it had ears big enuff to fly with and Baelfire felt relief bc seeing this shit made him think he was high.

"Hi humees I am Dumbo" said the elephant and they all giggled bc it had a tard name. "I am here to take yall to a funeral ring." It cried "Dr. Whale had dies from chicken pox and I know Rumpel was a close aquantice bc Whale chopped his umbiliiecal cord." he was crying so much that they were all crying but they went with him to go see the funeral.

Stay tuuned for chapter 5


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Ok it's black to work tomorrow so not very much updates until tha weekend is up and cuming.

Rumpel Belle, Neal, SNow and Charming all rode on Dumbo's back to the funeral which was taking plates in Princess Auruoras castle but she sleeps alot and was not present. The castle was decorated in xmas decor bc the holiday was coming up.

Dr. Whales coffin sat in the middle of the room he was black and white bc he was from the Land w/o color.

"omg no he gut my umblilly cord I can't believe my life is so emo right now" Rumplestilly Gold Skin cried. Belle was robbing his back in comfort. But his son Neal was smoking pots with Baelfire he wood not lend a hand.

"He was such a nice doctor he birthed all our babies." Snow said bc he had conceived Emma for her and was partially family. they all were in pain and whump.

"Today we are here to say our goodbyes to our deer friend Dr Vikto Frankiestein aka Dr Whales (he went by that name so ppl wouldnt think he was going to reincarnate their rabies) "He had a bro and a papa but I think they are dead." Pinnochio read from the podium that his daddy Gapetto had set up fo him.

Once the speech was over Charmin Neal Gapetto and Jumney Cricket carry the casket out the door with Dr. Whales fave song playin "Move bitch" by Ludachris. It was so touching that was why Rumpeley didn't halp carry the casket.

The guests all threw flowers at the senery like they would at a wedding and Mulan was screaming "I LOVED YA DOC" and then they tossed his casket into a cemetrical hole and buried him away with no remorse.

"I am have good news" Aurora announcted everyone listened bc they were blue Da Ba dee. "I am ggoing to turn his grave into a foot ball stadiuemee!" She holla and everyone cheered bc it was foot ball seasokn.

...Meanwhile...

Emma and the otter half of the gang was followng a trail that Balto had left for them by scratching the trees. She stopped them all for a smoke break and talk to Hook alone "Um I have to tell someone but Hook idk where tha fuck we're gone my compass stop working" She toothed.

"FUCK" Hook yelled she slapped him bc this was suppo to be a secret. "I mean fuck" He whispered "wtf are we gonna do."

"None of these crazy saps kno nothing except for maybe that lil mistake Henry." Emma complaint bout their son. Henry is such a fag.

"We need to get rid of that lil shit" They watched him play building blocks with his great granddad who was the only lil kiddie left for him to even sociate with. But be fore they could take action this green bitch come walkin down the trail from the direction in watch they were heading.

"Wtf is this nasty shit" Peter Pan grossed out yuck!

"Omg it's my ex bestie Malieegiefectnt" Regina go over and she hugged the green frog woman and it was so weird lookin. "It's been so long since we had a tea patty I am a mayor now" She lied to her friend which brouht on the anger.

MAleifienct hit her like a overpowdered man "Wtf bitch yall know thats my dream job & yo gonna go steal my job dreams?!" Regina had just cauzed them a lot of llamas.

"YOU ALL WILL SUFFER" Malieficent yelled as she ..,...cliffhanger!

To be ontinued


End file.
